媽媽你老

仔仔今日突然話「媽媽你老」，當下真是有點不快。是的，媽媽真的老了，比起其他年輕媽媽，我真的明顯不青春了。我問仔仔「媽媽老了，你會照顧媽媽嗎？」仔仔就：「Yes, I will take you to see the doctor. I will tie up your belt.」心中有點不明白，我再問仔仔：「What belt?」他說：「You would sit at the back」原來他是指車上的安全帶seat belt。我再問他：「Are you going to drive me there?」他點頭說：「Yes.」當下我說他乖，心中真的有無限喜悅，這個孩子真的很窩心。

OCD - how much you know about it?

Obsessive Compulsory Disorder...psychologists or educators call it OCD. When I first heard that, I have puzzles in my mind. What's that? And how it affects me? Why it happens to my family? I could not sleep that night, just to think about what I have read online and all those printout from the web. It's easily be confused with autism and sometimes people cannot even notice others who have that issue. This disorder is due to the specific chemistry in one's brain and the person who has that disorder cannot control himself on doing something. Most people who have it would have the following symptoms: -

1) Repeat doing the same thing many many times in a day without a good reason such as washing hands all the times to make sure that it is clean
2) Most of the time, that person would be in great anxiety and he worries a lot, worries if he's normal, worries if he would be loved, worries for being left alone...
3) Very stubborn and highly organized on doing something such as slippers have to be placed in certain way, toy cars have to be placed facing the same direction side by side...
4) When he wants to do something, he will do it no matter what. Even though he knows that it is not allowed, he cannot control himself not to do it.
5) Emotionally unstable and can be triggered to be depressed or anxious. You can see the worries and anxiety in their eyes.

I see all these symptoms on my son and the counselor reinforce and ensure me that my son has OCD even though we are still waiting for appointment of his assessment. The counselor told me that we are lucky to spot the issue early and hopefully intervention can help him to direct back to the main track easily. 2 referrals have been given to me and my husband and see which source can give us an early date of assessment and get suitable training for us to teach him.

I feel lucky that we have sent him to Chibi Chan which has the support from The Parent Place where the counselor can able to recognize his issue. On the other hand, the counselor told me that Chibi Chan is not the suitable school for my son as it is always too busy and the teachers are not experienced enough and kind enough to be able to handle a kid with OCD. I'm sad to learn that he may need another school because the the current one cannot facilitate his needs. The school sort of does not want to and capable to deal with that. Honestly speaking, it would be a valuable experience to meet with professionals to learn more how to help kids. However, sometimes things just cannot be perfect, especially that we are human beings.

I don't blame the parent that complained about my son's behaviors in school but I feel so disappointed that as a mother, this parent cannot set a good example to her kid to be kind and generous. The way she talked and what she talked were so childish and insensitive to me. When my kids are around me, I would try to be a model to them when I talk to people, particularly in a school party with almost all the parents and children in it. I told my husband that we should not be like her, we are not kids and we should not act like kids. We love our kids but we love other children too. Most of the children in the school are lovely and I won't pick on a kid because he cannot act like the others. Honestly speaking, my son is friendly and lovely most of the time.

I hope that someone can tell me that my son has no issue and he can be successful but I need to face the facts that he and we need help. It's hard for us to learn that but as parents, we have to set a model and lead them to the right ways.

Baby love

星期六食飯見到我堂細佬個女,真係好鬼cute嘅bb女,一歲都未夠,又肥又白眼又大,仔仔同囡囡好鍾意同佢玩,仔仔問我"可唔可以啜啜?"佢想錫啖bb女喎,仔仔起碼問咗幾次...人細鬼大...都好...証明佢唔係攣嘅...


Last Saturday, I attended a family party with my kids and my husband. We met my cousin's baby there. She's not 1 years old yet, very chubby, soft skin, big eyes and pretty. My kids loved to play with her. They talked to her, held her hands, touched her...My son asked me, "may I kiss her?" He likes her so much and he usually does that to those people he likes. Well, a 4 years old boy says that...At least, I know that he likes girl. Actually, he has a lot of girl friends in the school. He likes to play with girls with big eyes and long hair. I have heard people saying that boy usually looks for girls with the appearance like his mother while girl looks for boys who look like her father. It's true to our case, I have long hair and big eyes.

大巴士 double cabin bus

同Spencer今朝坐巴士返學,我地坐果架因為行得慢咗,趕唔上另一間express
express通常係大車(有兩個車箱果隻)
仔仔好鍾意搭大車,因為中間相連果個位轉彎時會摺埋,佢覺得好得意
通常轉車如果搭到快車都會係呢隻車
點知今日趕唔到,我地睇住間車轉彎走,仔仔拖住我想追上去,睇到架車走佢大叫
"Don't run, wait for me!"
之後佢大聲喊,問我點解架車唔等佢
上到第二架車(係一間普通細車)佢仲喊,又話佢唔要呢架車...好耐都仲好唔開心...
小朋友嘅世界真係咁簡單,一架巴士都令仔仔傷心流眼淚...希望聽朝我地搭到架大車啦~


I ride 2 buses with Spencer to take him to school every morning.
Today, the 1st bus ran slow and then we could not immediately caught the 2nd one.
We saw the #1 left the stop when we started getting off the 1st bus.
Then, we saw the #1BX made a turn and left too.
Spencer held my hands and ran, trying to catch it.
He does not like running to catch buses.
But, he really likes the double bus (express usually is a double bus with 2 cabins).
He finds the bus making a turn with the middle part folding very interesting.
So, he was so upset today. He shouted to the #1BX, "don't run, wait for me!"
Of course, the bus driver could not hear that.
Spencer cried with lot of tears and I knew that he's real upset.
He cried until the 2nd bus arrived but he did not want to get on that bus as it was just a normal one cabin bus.
When we were ridding on the 2nd bus, he still asked me why the BX did not wait for us.
The kid's world is just so pure and simple.
Kid will not hind his feeling. He cries when he's upset. He laughs when he's happy.
Hope that we can catch the double-cabin BX tomorrow morning.

One thing that you should never tell your kids

There is one thing that you should never tell your kids......I don't love you.

My son is now 4 and he's a very sensitive boy. Compared to him, my daughter is a tough girl although she is only 2-1/2, she has a strong character. She will never want to surround even though she knows that it's her fault. My son seems to be very uncooperative and I know that he wants to always seek attention. He will come to me and sit on my laps just to snuggle. He loves to be pampered, he loves to be carried, he loves to be hugged, he loves to be kissed....For his age, I think that he wants to a big boy but he still looks for sense of security and acknowledgment. He likes compliments and he likes to be a big helper.

One night, he's not really cooperative when I told him to go to bed. Before bedtime, he's not focus on learning his numbers. I kind of lost my temper, even though I know that it was wrong to speak loud to him, I did so. He started to cry and he told me that he's scared, kept saying that he did not know the answer. With the current education system, we have to start preparing him to elementary school interviews as we don't know if he can be able to be assigned to a good public school. Private school is a back up choice. To be successful in interviewing, he needs to be able to recognize alphabets, numbers, able to write his name, able to answer questions, etc. With his refusal to learn, I suddenly wanted to tease him. I told him that I did not love him. He asked me if I did not love him, I reconfirmed 2 times. Then, he started to cry loud in his bed. My husband had to come in to comfort him. Later, my husband told me that I should never tell a kid that I don't love him.

I know. Do I not know better? I should not say that I do not love my son. He's such a loving boy and he loves me no matter what and I know that he needs to confirm that he has my love. It's mean and cold to say something like that to a 4-year-old. I guarantee, I would not say that again to him any more, not even a joke. And actually, how can I not love my kid?

今日落薄同ｈｏｎｅｙ拍拖去訂蛋糕

今日落薄, 仔仔由窗望出去同問婆婆,點解邊個倒晒d米米喺地地度,婆婆去窗邊睇吓,哦！原來落薄!因為係白色一粒粒,仔仔以為係米米呀!

果陣爸爸同媽咪啱啱喺 safeway買完嘢,準備去攞車然後去訂蛋糕,爸爸叫媽咪喺度等,佢去揸架車過嚟,媽咪睇睇吓越落越大,仲好涷tim,最後訂咗個Kung Fu Panda蛋糕俾仔仔，原來有個Ice Age蛋糕都幾好，有個大大個dinoasaur頭，又有Manly, Sid 同Diego，但個顏色好似太灰啦，生日蛋糕都係五顏六色開心ｄ靘ｄ

仔仔話咁快就四歲，呢一年佢有好多改變，說話多了組織 ，多了不少鬼主意，有時望他眼睛我會見到他眼仔碌碌，然後把頭挨向你再望著你笑，然後送上幾句”媽咪”，直叫你心都軟了～自從開始上學以來，他都不斷成長，幸好在學校他都頗受歡迎，他有很多女朋友仔，個個都是長髮靘女，我們開始擔心將來他太多感情瓜葛，honey話仔仔而家個樣好似佢細個果陣，我話”你鬼有咁靘仔！”

To learn writing

Husband worries about how Spencer would learn his ABC and 123. He has problem on concentration and it is a problem to almost all the members of my husband's family. What we concern is how to persuade Spencer to learn. He's smart on learning by touching. He knew how to put the screws in the right positions after seeing daddy to fix the safety gate one time. My son is also good at copying what we do and what we say. Teachers in school noticed that he is pretty good at picking up small stuff and playing constructive toys. He is a great helper in school; he helps to put away other kids' blankets and he helps out to clean the tables after lunch.

Today, when we are on the way to pick up Spencer, my husband said to me that he would like to start teaching him writing numbers. He would like to show him how to write and hopefully he will follow. So, after dinner time, we started our writing project. I pulled out paper and pens. Daddy showed him how to write a number 1. At the beginning, Spencer was not cooperative. He kept saying that he did not know how. Instead of drawing a vertical straight line, he drew a horizontal one. Daddy got mad after continuously showing Spencer how to draw a "1". He complained to me that Spencer's not concentrating. I took him to put him on my laps, holding his right hand to teach him how to write a "1". He was so happy and asked me to help him more. I gradually reduced the control on his hand, just slightly supported his hand and guided him to draw the line from top to bottom. Spencer was so happy to see that he could do that by himself. I think that my son may be slower in learning on that particular skills and he definitely need a lot of encouragement and patience. But, my husband is not good at providing that. I feel that there are more weights added on my shoulders.

I'm here listening

These days, my 3 years old son Spencer has learned a lot of new words and he sometimes really talks like his father. He picked up what we said really quick. It's so embarrassed that the teacher and one of the parents have told me that he said the F word. It's all because of my husband's language. He gets mad easily and once he's mad, particularly when he's driving or talking to his friends on the cell phone, he forgets that the children are around listening to what he says. I have to periodically remind him to mind his language.

I have invented the concept of bad words. Any word that I don't want the kids to say, I would tell them that it's a bad word. They are not supposed to say it. If they say it, I would give them a warning. The 2nd time of using this word would lead to a time-out, standing at the corner. They don't like being punished and they try to avoid using the "bad words". They will help out to catch their daddy's language. Sometimes, it can turn this into a fun game.